Cosmopolite

Into Tomorrow, Yesterday

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 10:41:00 +0000

The end of 2008 has marked the end of a difficult period for humanity. We have witnessed demoralization and indifference in ways I never imagined would exist in my lifetime. The class and social warfare that has been perpetrated upon us has left in it's wake a devastating legacy of bankruptcies, foreclosures, unemployment, despair, poverty, and general discontent. The collective consciousness of the earth has been left enervated and devoid of it's very divinity.

This seemingly out of control spiral into a common insanity originates within each person that has and ever will spend time living on earth. The causes cannot be determined solely by looking at the mundane. We cannot find the root of that which is perceived as evil by finding blame in the world around us. Presidential administrations; corporations; dictators and despots; crime; drugs; racism; inequality; persecution all can be part of a larger picture. The ills caused by these conditions are symptoms of that which we all collectively share, a common belief that this is the normal state of existence.

The collective disorder is part of each person and is passed on from one generation to the next. Each person that has endured an injustice passes that pain onto the next generation. This does not usually occur consciously. As an example I'll cite the gay rights movement and start with my own experiences. When I was a boy I knew I liked other males. This was not a decision I made, but simply was what it was. I never really fought it, but knew from societal cues, that I would be best to not share this part of my life with anyone else. This was during the 1970's. I knew nothing of the generations of men and women that lived in fear of imprisonment and ridicule for the crime of being homosexual. I knew nothing of the brave men and women that took a stand on that evening of June 27, 1969 at the Stonewall Inn in New York City, thus giving birth to the modern gay rights movement. What I did know what the pain of many before me that suffered for just being who they are and therefore being easy fodder for those that would use fear to separate one from another.

When I reflect upon my youth I led a rather “normal” life. I went to school; played well with others; and avoided any confrontations by keeping my “secret” to myself; save for a few trusted friends and family members. Some of the friends I knew were frightened and even angry at their own homosexuality and this perplexed me. I could never understand the concept of self-loathing for any reason. I never made a major production when I would “come-out” to a friend or family member. In fact I usually said it is what it is and I'm not different then the person you knew five seconds ago before I told you this. Somehow I believe this approach made my revelation more easy to digest by the recipient. Truthfully, I just happened to be in the company of some rather accepting and enlightened people that cared more about me that about what I did as a matter of private discourse. Nevertheless I still looked around, outside of my comfort zone, and saw the cruelty of others. I would read about others who were the victims of ridicule; injury; or even death, just for being gay. The collective pain was still in me.

This collective pain of which I speak crosses not only the areas of sexual preference, but also gender; race; religion; and social class. Over the existence of humanity unscrupulous people in power would cleverly use our very differences to divide us. The rule is simple, keep the masses in their own internal conflicts and power is secure at the top. By the end of the 1960's and into the early 1970's people began to see through the machinations of our own learned mind-sets and into the single humanity we all share. The civil rights movement was broader than race, as it led to a tidal wave of common demands for the unconditional equal and just treatment of all people.

The 1980's would be an enormous blow to the triumphs of civil rights and equality. A re-emergence of the fear based ideology was again taking hold. AIDS made it easy to once again blame homosexuals and drug users for many of society's ills. The evangelical movement in the late 1970's found a cozy home with politics and injected it's brand of morality into society. Truly we moved backward into a time never seen, but romanticized in wholesome images of 1950's families watching TV together while dad smoked a pipe. From what my father told me, there was little of that in the 1950's. This regression of social policy intensified as the 1980's came to idolize garish wealth and greed as the way to personal fulfillment. The new ideology was “if it doesn't affect me, why should I care”. And so went a decade. For me it was a fun time, I was in high school. I hadn't encountered any of the harsh realities of ridicule for being gay; nor did I perceive any racism, sexism, or social injustice around me. What I hadn't yet realized is that the reason I didn't see these things is because my mind was of the collective ideal that everything is good as long as I don't feel bad. Such was the era of Reaganomics.

The events that would take us through the 1990's and into today are all repeats of the past three decades. Pointless wars; oil prices out of control; social injustice; socially engineered prejudice; poverty; drugs; greed; and despair all can be seen over and over again. Why do we allow this to continue when most people want a fair and equitable world? It is because we all have agreed, usually unconsciously, that this is the way things are. We have decided in our minds that we are merely products of the past and pawns for the future, but give little credence to what is now. This is the very existence of our common pain. We have allowed our very humanity to be subjugated with ideology. I'll use a simple example to make this point. Take a $20 bill and a $5 bill and place them on the table in front of you. Then ask yourself a simple question. What makes the $20 worth more than the $5? Undoubtedly you will come to a conclusion involving market forces, the numbers on the bills, or that if you go to the store one buys more or less than the other. The truth is they are both worth little more than the ink and paper upon which they are printed, and even that “worth” is dubious. The only reason one is more valuable than the other is that because of collective agreement we have made it so.

This concept of collective agreement isn't harmful in the case of money, but can have serious consequence in the case of war or in the perpetration of social justice. In a war scenario, the leaders that desire the war begin beating their drums and developing the “us versus them” that will allow the war to be justified. What can possible justify killing thousands, if not millions of people? In the case of social justice one can create the idea that all people that make less than a certain amount per year are the cause of crime and burden to society because they don't pay their share of taxes and are often assisted by Federal and State programs. Do you think this is impossible? Let's never forget Ronald Reagan's “Welfare Queen” comment thus putting a valuable social resource in jeopardy.

The way out of this collective mind set is to be aware of your own self. That part of you that is divine humanity. This divinity supersedes mere thoughts. I cannot think so little of myself that I can be defined by a few thoughts and words cobbled together during my brief existence on earth, and neither should you. The hope exists in that the same collective pain can become collective peace. We see this in certain individuals like Mother Theresa; Rev. Martin Luther King; Ghandi; and so on. When one person gives of that inner self, that place within them that has peace and joy, it spreads to those ready to receive it. Don't believe me? Think of how you felt when you voted this year. Think of the collective sigh of relief felt when it was announced that Barack Obama would be the 44th President of the United States of America.

Humanity is facing some of its toughest challenges. We will either evolve or perish. To evolve in this case is to step out of the collective agreement that has caused us so much pain and leave behind the insanity of the yesterday. If mankind persists in treating the earth with impunity there will be nothing remaining for the future. More people have perished at the hands of others than through any natural disasters. We have the power to make the changes that we know must be done. We may be too frightened to step out of the comfort zone of our own mind dominated existence, but we must. The same minds that bring beauty into the world through art, literature, music and so on; also bring crime, murder, war, poison, pollution, hunger, and poverty.

I truly believe that humanity has an opportunity to rise to the occasion of real change. This isn't the political changes espoused by the last Presidential campaign; but the internal evolution that involves recognition of our own humanity and by default that of all others. No one person is not going to rid us of racism, for example, that's up to every person. It is time to lay down the mental swords that exists in our thoughts as one against another because of physical difference. This responsibility is not on any one race of people, but on all people. We have to rise about the constant chatter of daily life and see the divinity in our fellow man.

Into tomorrow we will inevitably stumble, that is a given. We can take the lessons from yesterday and try to make tomorrow better, however, as we see this thinking will fail as we are doomed to repeat the sins of the past. The most effective way to make tomorrow better and have a fondness for yesterday is to live today. This moment is the only moment that matters as it is the only moment you have. You are greater than the person you think you are; as you are much more that a compilation of thoughts. Make the most of you.

Where The Hell Have I Been?

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 20:30:00 +0000

Greetings! It's been some time since I've captured your attention and inhabited your thoughts. There is so much to cover over the past twenty-two (22) months, but I promise to keep it concise. There will be parts where I go by each month or group several together. Without further adoo:

2007

February

With much help from several of my friends I moved into my new abode. The freedom it afforded me was glorious. I had sparse furnishings but big dreams. I was most happy when I was finally able to share this joy by having my mother over for a brief visit. It's always a nervous moment introducing parents to anything new. My mom always had a tendency to give both sides of all change, often focusing on the "what if" or negative scenario. This time she was only happy for me.

March

This is the month the clouds moved in. By the end of March my mother had, after a long battle with cancer, moved on from this earth. Her death was sudden and took my brother and I by surprise. She shared with no one how sick she really was. The day in February, when she visited my place, I accompanied her to an appointment with her doctor. I could tell then that the cancer was prevalent throughout her lungs. She denied it as we drove home. I felt it best to agree with her that there was nothing out of the ordinary. It was an unspoken agreement we shared. Mom wanted to live her time as she chose, and I would not stand in her way. It was my last gift to her, peace.

I remember her last day as if it were right now. The most vital part of the day, however, was at night in the hospital. I remember my Uncle saying that is was sort of "morbid" for all of us to be waiting around. You see, by this point, we knew her time was near. This conversation was added to the swirling thoughts already in my head as I had a prior conversation with my friend Dawn regarding death. She recounted how her Mother was in a similar state, live but in the alleged euphoric state of being under the influence of morphine. It was during this time that relatives and loved ones were always by her side. It wasn't until they gave her Mother time alone that she was able to let go and be in peace. The next part was the hardest for me.

I approached my mother's siblings (my brother had gone back home because he was exhausted from a very long day) and told them. "You know we have all had a chance to rest, but Mom hasn't. I think we should go home and give her that chance." At first they argued that she would want them there by her side. I said nothing but it only took a moment for the words to sink it. We all agreed to leave. I was the last to say goodbye. Two hours later the hospital called and Mom had finally gone to her final rest. Oddly, soon before my phone rang from the hospital I felt her say goodbye to me. Mom and I always had a special connection and now it had evolved into one more etheral.

I quickly took on the responsibility of managing the affairs of her estate. My brother and I agreed to this, and I'm happy we did. I could tell that her passing was somehow even more devastating to him than me. You see, my brother has the "real" family. He has a wife and a son, or from Mom's perspective, grandson. The layers of loss he felt must have been crushing and I didn't want him bothered with having to make decisions that on the surface may appear detached from the death of Mom. My attention was focused on the business of the estate, I would mourn much, much later.

April

The clouds were drifting away. I was able to pull together a kick-ass housewarming, complete with a well-furnished condo and new kitchen appliances. This was for me a celebration of my Mother's life. You see, it was from inheritance that I was able to share this time with my dearest friends. I had almost 40 people here. The housewarming was truly one of the happiest days of my life. It was truly yang-yin. The sharing of my home and good fortune brought on by the loss of one so dear to me.

May - August

This time was pretty much business as usual. I spent time with friends, ate, drank and was quite merry. Then came September.

September

Nine days into this month I would turn forty (40). I decided to throw a party. I didn't really want to necessarily have a birthday party, but just wanted my friends by my side. What a party it was! Then, one week later, my friends Vincent and Dwayne kept their promise to take me to dinner at the Helmand, a lovely Afghani restaurant in Baltimore. Much to my surprise when I arrived it was an actual birthday celebration for me, with many of my friends, even some from the party the week before in attendance! I was so moved by this act and it would mark the very last time I remember crying.

October - December

I don't remember much of this time period except that I had a very nice Thanksgiving dinner with ten (10) of us in attendance. This was the first "dinner party" I had at my place and it was so warm and wonderful. I was beginning to mourn the loss of my mother. I had no interest in family. This is not because I don't care about them, but I couldn't bear hearing anyone speak of my Mother (or Father). I know that every time the family gets together someone has to bring up "I wish (your) dad/mom were here" or "I know how much you miss them". The truth is no one has any idea how much I do miss them, and I don't care to share that. The pain is too deep for me to bear.

2008

January - Today

This year is so fresh in my thoughts, or at least what's left of my enervated mind, that I'll compress it into a few paragraphs.

I began the year by starting a Talent Management business. I had a business partner, but that didn't work out very well. So the business is still in existence, but not much is happening with it right now. We started off with such enthusiasm, but that waned over the course of the year and after spending thousands of dollars to no avail. I am still pursuing it, but only from a different angle and with different associates.

I also decided that I wanted to become and independent consultant for my "daytime" occupation as a budget analyst for the Federal government. I tried to negotiate this with my then employer, but we couldn't come to terms.

I was crestfallen. I really needed this opportunity to manage my own destiny. Finally a white-knight came to my rescue. Actually he's an Indian-American knight, and was willing to use my services as an independent consultant under his company. This decision has been a bit scary, but I can't complain now that I'm now better off financially.

This year so far has been rather "bland". I haven't spent much time with my friends; haven't seen my family since the passing of my mother; had a falling out with a cousin I truly love; and, had to make some rash decisions regarding my Talent Management business. This was also the year I learned how to truly understand the intentions of people. I've had far too many disappointments with humanity. I've done my best in realizing that all is temporary, so I think I'll finish off this year pretty well.

I guess this is a good time to offer apologies to my friends and loved ones for being so distant. I've meant not to hurt anyone. I've really just been trying to make all the adjustments to my life so that I can come out of this "funk" relatively unscathed. Either way, my mourning continues, not just for the loss of Mom, but also for the other losses and disappointments that have come this year, however I have yet to cry.

People I'd Like to Meet

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 15:45:00 +0000

People I'd Like to Meet (Both Dead and Alive)

I was driving to work this morning, and during my matutinal muse I thought of people I'd like to meet and why I'd like to meet them. Initially my thoughts were of those past; icons of yore that were influential during their brief existence in the corporal cosmos. Then I thought of those still among us and why I'd like to meet them as well.

So far this is a short list, and subject to amendment. Please note, these are persons other than my departed family or loved ones. Please write, in my comments section, two or three people you'd like to meet, dead and alive and why.

So, without further ado, here is a list of those persons, in no particular order.

Those Departed:

Mother Theresa so that I may learn the ways to selflessly help others, and find inner peace in our otherwise tumultuous world.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. so that I may ask him how to address the racial unrest society has yet to handle. I'd like to know how this generation has seemed to forget his messages of acceptance and equality.
H.L. Mencken so that I may get to know my home town of Baltimore through his eyes. Also so that I may learn how to use the English language with the same mastery as he.

Those Among Us:

Tenzin Gyasto a.k.a. His Holiness, the 14th Dalai Lama for many of the same reasons that I would like to meet Mother Theresa. Also, I've watched an interview of the Dalai Lama with Barbara Walters, and he seems like a real joy of a person to be around.

Warren Buffet so that I may learn his methods and means of financial responsibility and management.
Again, please post your comments and let us know your choices. Thank you!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 15:33:00 +0000

I thought I'd take a moment to wish all a Happy and Prosperous 2007. In my last entry I focused primarily on the past. I believe it is now prudent to be forward looking. This year is filled with so many opportunities and challenges. In the past few weeks I've welcomed some wonderful new friends into my life and am very excited about getting to know them and letting them have the chance to know me. I spent New Year's Eve with Britt and our friend Tim, as well as some of the new friends we've met. We went to Grand Central (a pub in Baltimore) and had an incredible time. I actually danced. I haven't allowed myself to dance in quite some time and it felt amazing and liberating. We cheered, drank, and laughed all night. That's the way to ring in a new year! Over the past week I have been working diligently on my new condominium. I've been fortunate to have the help of friends to do the dirty work. Thank you to all. I especially want to offer my gratitude to my friends for believing in and supporting me throughout this change in my life. Tomorrow it's back to work, and I'm very forunate to have a great job with even better colleauges. Due to my current home purchase I am going to seek additional income. I think I'll work for a new cigar store that is opening in Crofton. More to come on this. As with last year, I'll make no resolutions, but continue with the goals I set out in my previous posting. I hope that all of my friends allow me the opportunity to share in their goals, achievements, and near misses in the year and those years that follow. I have to admit that home ownership is as challenging as I imagined. I've had a few friends liken it to child rearing, and that is such a true anology. My proverbial labor pains (selecting, financing, and closing) were minimal, however the real work is going to be raising this domiciliary child. I have cut the umbilical cord (removing old carpet and wallpaper). Tomorrow I pick out carpets and flooring. I also have to choose the paint and begin the aestheic transmogrification of the walls. The place is currently all white. I like color, so painting is an exciting endeavor. I'm at present on the balcony of my old apartment (I'm here for a few more weeks) and the weather is rather pleasant for a January morning. It is about 50 degrees and cloudy, but it feels so good to be sitting outside. The air is brisk and invigorating. So I'm about to head back inside, have a shower and well deserved nap. Thank you for taking the time to read my postings. Have a wonderful 2007 and join me in a toast to the new year and a bright future. Bibendum!!!

2006 - An Epilogue

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 16:24:00 +0000

With the end of a year we are compelled to place parentheses around the previous 365 days and draw conclusions about our experiences therein. The year for me began as sluggish as it is not ending. I set out with a few goals in 2006, not "New Years Resolutions" but actual goals committed to paper. Sadly that paper was lost in February; I believe my cat was involved.

A goal notwithstanding this epistolary endeavor is not an attempt to bring down to specific time or date any events of the year. I shall be presenting the year's account in a manner that is driven by topic, rather than chronology. I also must admit that I'm keeping this rather personal, and any comments are more than welcomed, they are appreciated.

A main goal of the year was to purchase a home. December 27, 2006 is the date that goal reaches its fruition. The home ownership goal is really just a subsidiary of a larger overall goal of life improvement. Such improvements consist of continuing education; learning one or two languages (Italian is now, German is next); repairing my credit situation; gaining more respect of myself and my previous accomplishments; meeting new and interesting people; improving my retirement planning; and so on. This is a list not unlike many people I'm sure you know. It may even been similar to your own.

The past two months have been somewhat trying for me. I began to benchmark my own life against others and found myself feeling like a bit of a failure. Not a total failure, just in the sense of some wasted opportunities in life. Many of the people I've met recently are younger and very accomplished. Opportunities such as finishing college; traveling; self-motivated health awareness; are some of the areas where I felt deficient. I spent at least a week in a state of melancholic torpor until something in me "snapped". I realized what I had actually accomplished, and what its value was in my life.

My greatest "accomplishment", is the wonderful gift of friendship I have surrounding me. I have several amazingly loyal, dedicated, trustworthy, and crazy friends. These friendships, as all relationships, take hard work and dedication. I must be doing something right to have such quality people to call my friends. Also, I have found that when meeting people that are well accomplished, they generally find me interesting. This always amused me, as I can't imagine my life being interesting to people who have seen the world, or have had moments of fame or fortune, moments I have yet to know. However, therein is my greatest talent, that of being interesting. Well, I guess being interesting and making people laugh. Apparently I'm quite the comedian, as I’m often told. I'm not yet certain what this means, but I'm sure I'll know soon enough.

I digress; now back to my state of torpor. When I woke up from this nightmarish time, I began charging through the list of unaccomplished goals from the beginning of 2006. Get ready for this, as it's all true. In less than a month I found, financed, and shall close on my home purchase; I began learning Italian (I cannot pepper this text with Italian phrases as I'm too new at it); and have really learned a great deal about myself through self-examination and also through many of the new people I've met.

The biggest lesson for the year can be summated in the old adage "actions speak louder than words". This phrase is simple, yet one of the greatest truths within itself. The words of the axiom are useless without life's actions to drive the message home. One of the most obvious areas of life where this is true involves our interactions with others. I've met some people this year that haven't been true to their words. In these cases actions were screaming at me, not simply speaking louder that their verbal counterparts. Never discount others and never allow those who do to be part of your life. (This is one lesson I cannot impress enough!)

I realize elsewhere in the world much has transpired. I cannot distance myself from the facts, but I needn't let them worry me now. I spent a good portion of this year lamenting the horrors and atrocities heard and read daily in the news. I also experienced many trying moments for members of my extended family, lamenting others misery, while lamenting my current place in life. January through late November was not my favorite part of 2006; in fact was quite ghastly. I have placed interior parentheses around these months and now label them gone but not forgotten.

The month of December has truly been a winner. I've still let some people disappoint me, but, I no longer feel disappointed in myself. I have complete control over how I'll allow others to impact my attitude. Life is entirely a 50-50 game of chance with every decision, no matter how minute a gamble for the future. I shall henceforth make every decision where possible and appropriate without impulse, with forethought, and with emphasis on quality and integrity. This will be especially important when dealing with others who wish to enter my life.

Looking forward to 2007 I see hope. I feel the year will be filled with the fruits of my convictions. I suppose it took me a bit longer to leap out of my own spiritual and moral adolescence such that I have a clear direction of how my future shall look. I see myself as the engineer of a very heavy train, the locomotive is fully functional, though a little rusty; the trains consist is made of several cars, carrying heavy baggage. The cartage is also old and musty. As I steam forward there are several stops. At each stop I leave behind the heavier and older cars, leaving behind the old baggage, and retrieving empty cars for new luggage. There is one car, however, I never remove from this train. That car is the passenger car, for it carries in it a most necessary cargo: my friends, my family, and my own belief that life is only getting better from here.

RUN, HIDE, BE VERY AFRAID

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 11:39:00 +0000

I have just finished reading some readers' comments on a story done by Time Magazine regarding the liberty vs. security debate. The common theme of the readers involves the current tension between the government's necessity of maintaining certain secrets in the name of national security, and the implied duty of the news media to report facts and inform the public. This is truly a debate that requires much deeper analysis than the current blithering of loudmouth and unprincipled politicians and their fear "mongering".

I cannot agree with any media outlet divulging secret information, even if it is passed on the them. However, our current "state of war" in not unlike that of Orwell's "1984", in which the country is in a constant state of war against an elusive enemy. This "gray area" is where we are now. The major difference between reality and fiction is that a serious threat exists. The real debate is over how much of our freedom and privacy we are willing to relinquish in order to "keep tabs" on those that would bring the innocent harm.

I want to offer a simple analogy. Let's take the simple case of a crime ridden area of a city or town. A frustrated population complains about the crime and the news media howls. Businesses suffer, lives are lost, and fear is rampant among the residents. A beleaguered Mayor may decide to impose a curfew on certain people (perhaps an age group identified as being the cause of most of the strife). The Mayor may also institute a "zero-tolerance" policy on such "horrible acts" as loitering. Now you have a fearful population feeling placated because the "government" has acted. However, while little Timmy cannot walk home from a visit to his grandmother after 10:00 pm, for example, without the threat of being cuffed and thrown in jail; the criminals that have no real fear of order and law are still free to roam about, only now in the shadows. The crime subsides briefly, but soon the limelight is off the issue and the resources sent to enforce these policies are deployed elsewhere. This is an infantile example of my point in which citizens are willing to sacrifice their own freedom and comfort for an "alleged" sense of calm and security. This is not much different than our color coded system of terror threat that was all the rage only a few years ago.

It is important that we don't minimize the threat of a terrorist attack by actually comparing it to neighborhood crime. However, the point of the preceding example is the culture of fear that is bred by politicians and lack of personal accountability and action on the part of our government. This Country was founded on people who stood up to their fears. The signers of the Declaration of Independence, by there very concurrence, were actually committing treason against their "Mother England". Like today, this was punishable by death. In the words of Edward Abbey "A patriot must be ready to defend his country against his government". America's founders had adopted Mr. Abbey's philosophy. Today, the overall population seems to have fallen blindly behind an administration that has used fear as it tactic for driving public policy.

The real thing to fear is complacency. That complacency that allows us to sacrifice our privacy, that disallows voice of dissent, that permits the govenment, our government, to stampede over the Constitution for alleged isecurity. They claim they can make our reasons for fear disappear. Almost everywhere you look this administration loves fear. Several examples for digestion: "If gays marry, families will fall apart"; "If we don't fix Social Security, it will implode"; "If we cannot collect data from your (pick one: phone records, medical history, library records, financial transactions) than the terrorists will win". This complacency also has allowed all three branches of government to bolster corporate protection while diminishing the ability of consumers and victims to air their grievances. This is vital, as it demonstrates who is really "pulling the strings". One example, "The health care crisis is due to medical malpractice lawsuits". This statement is made so simple, yet it is far more complex than hearing George "The Village Idiot" Bush spew it from his wretched mouth. I won't go into this issue, but just know that behind every lie that this administration has proffered, someone profits, and profits well. If you want to learn the truth about the cost of complacency, just follow the money trail.

Just take the time to see who benefits from the actions of government (ie. War benefits Halliburton; catastrophe benefits big oil). Nothing changes in politics unless someone at the top will profit. The best way for our government to manipulate the people is through fear; fear that is financed care of corporations and very wealthy donors.

I'll leave you with one more quote from Adam Michnik, "As a rule, dictatorships guarantee safe streets and terror of the doorbell. In democracy the streets may be unsafe after dark, but the most likely visitor in the early hours will be the milkman." Let us not end up fearing the milkman.

A Break from The Soap Box: Uncle Filthy Goes Home

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Sun, 02 Apr 2006 13:41:00 +0000

Dateline: Saturday, April 1, 2006 I spent today in Philadelphia with my friend, Eric. We did something we haven't done in years. Took a completely spontaneous trip. We had originally planned on going to the Jersey Shore to saunter about; however, time and fate decided we should simply go to Philadelphia. Usually I would damn fate for its cruetly. Yesterday fate was a kind and gentle beast; giving Eric and I a great day and good memories. One of the things that Eric really wanted to do was get a real Philadelphia cheesesteak at Geno's and/or Pat's "The King of Steaks" in South Philadelphia. MMMMM Cheesesteaks sez the Homer Simpson in me... ~(_8^(I). We arrived in Philadelphia sometime around 2:30 and went to Uncle's, a small and intimate bar on Locust Street in Center City Philadelhpia's "gayborhood". We had a few drinks and enjoyed the company of the congenial older chaps at the bar. After our drinks we proceeded to South Philly for our gastronomic delights. Geno's would be our first choice, since the line was shorter. We finally ordered our steak, wit (with Cheez Wiz) and friend onions. Then, as we were eating them, we decided to wait in line at Pat's and have another; thereby giving us an opportunity to find our favorite. We would order the exact same sandwich at Pat's. Herewith a brief caveat, the boys in South Philly are just too damned hot for their own good. Now back to the other, edible meat. Hands down, Pat's was truly our favorite. One, the meat was sliced thinner and the service at Pat's was abrupt and gruff, as should be in such a place. The important thing was the lines moved quickly, the food was good and we had a great time. We finished our night at Mahogany on Walnut Street. We enjoyed our requisite poisons and then proceeded to head home. Another great night in the City of Brotherly Love. We laughed more than we have in quite some time.... Now I'm looking forward to my next visit.

PHILADELPHIA UNDER SIEGE!

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Sun, 22 Jan 2006 02:02:00 +0000

Prologue: This was written in the year 2000 during the Republican National Convention. My knowledge and concern of social issues has changed greatly since then. I do, however, believe this prose to speak of the unfortunate disconnect that existed between those groups who were fighting for social change against the well organized neo-con death cult that has now seized our country and the world. Today I would more tip my hat in gratitude toward those brave enough to speak loudly for what is right than view them through the eyes of the tired office worker I was in 2000. Now on to: PHILADELPHIA UNDER SIEGE: The Great Show at City Hall At last they arrive, charging in upon many a mighty steed, with hoisted banners and raised fists they march on to "stir the shit storm" and create general pandemonium and havoc during the Republican National Convention. I refer to the protesters, rabble-rousers and assortment of other mountebanks that have set up temporary camp around City Hall in Philadelphia. These charlatans are the queerest of individuals I have ever witnessed. There was the anti-abortion group, replete with images upon posters of aborted fetuses, which seemed to offend PETA and other animal rights activists because of their close resemblance to red meat. Another group went about wearing costumes constructed of cardboard that appeared as bastardized versions of deer or moose. A convertible Mustang was driving around and within it was a bizarre trio of foppish persons. They managed to meander through the cadre of protesters, with two people, sitting upon the top of the back seat, wearing what appeared to be Teletubbies regalia, or maybe they were pink rabbits. In the air was a dreadful cacophony as provided by a variety of brusque, pear shaped women, excuse me, womyn, shouting their grievances with the benefit of megaphones. Co-existing was the generous competition of sound provided by the police vehicles circling this "encampment". The Philadelphia police provided many prison buses to help "motivate" the crowd to be peaceful. What the presence of the buses and vans did accomplish, however, was the abhorrent frustration of vehicular and pedestrian traffic. The odors in the air were most unpleasant. There was the no-so-subtle combination of body odor provided by many protesters and assembled vagrants; the carbon monoxide being spewed from the aforementioned vehicles; the sewers boiling over in the summer heat; and, as if to add spice to my olfactory barrage, the fecal matter of the dozens of horses of the mounted police. This gathering, not being enough to satisfy the city's desire to create a quandary of a business day, were greeted by Wawa foods. They were kind enough to be offering pieces of a free hoagie that was baking in the sun - this was yet another odor to contend with. I cannot imaging anything more appalling than the thought of warm mayonnaise on a multi-foot long sandwich with the benefit of solar heating. The pigs were definitely at the trough, however, grasping every tiny morsel of the fetid, grotesque amalgam of fatty, sodium-rich meats; condiments, and bread. The vendor was kind enough to provide many employees to serve their sordid fare. The employees became a bit impatient, or perhaps frightened, and began casting bags of chips and soft pretzels into the crowd. Fortunately they had the sense to not cast about mustard packs. Although I do believe that some of the PETA folks absconded with the ketchup supply to throw upon anyone partaking of the hoagie, or worse, wearing an animal product. I am seated in a cab during this grand scene. My cab has been motionless for several minutes and my fare keeps rising. The police have now decided to drive their vehicles around the crowd in a circular formation, as if vultures seeking their prey. This display of vehicular prowess and police enforcement has caused and even great traffic snarl, which I fear shall not end upon my departure from Philadelphia this evening. Finally, in frustration, I present the driver his fare, plus a modest tip, and decide to alight immediately and continue my journey on foot. I regretted this decision since the humidity and traffic were unbearable. I nevertheless made it back to the office with my sanity intact. I am back at the office now. The man who delivers the FedEx packages has just deposited his cartage and is telling me about the protesters' migration south along Broad Street. They are marching, still with their fists and banners held high on their way to the First Union Center, where the Republicans have been engaged in their political machinations. One can only imagine the outcome of the events today. Thousands of tired, forlorn protectors off all that is politically correct will be home, or unfortunately incarcerated, feeling a sense of accomplishment. While back in the city, the haughty and well-fed Republicans settle down for an after dinner cognac and a cigar. The peace is again restored and Philadelphia can rest for another evening. Then, there's always tomorrow.

Confessions of a Wholesale Club (Food) Junkie

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Sun, 22 Jan 2006 01:17:00 +0000

"I stand alone, I am the cheese." This is my muse as I stand in BJ's Wholesale Club sizing up the two pound smoked Gouda and one and a half pound block of feta with basil and sun-dried tomato, tossing them into the large, red, plastic shopping cart along side the three pound bleu cheese; ten pound bag of Cat Chow and twenty pound tub of kitty litter. There is at home just my partner, my cat and I, yet I find it impossible to resist the lure of shopping in bulk. In my freezer at home are two five-pound whole chickens, a nine pound duck and several multi-pound hunks of porcine flesh from my previous trip here just five days hence. I think to myself, while placing the thirty-six roll pack of toilet tissue in the cart, that I should stock up on some bacon and maybe a leg of lamb. En route to the meat section of this mammoth shopping Mecca, I pass and collect several eight-pack cartons of various canned vegetables and soups, several three-pack sets of my favorite pasta sauces along with eight pounds of pasta. This is natually followed buy a twenty ounce container of olive oil. The three pound bag of "Hint of Lime" tortilla chips wouldn't be complete without the twenty-four ounce jars of both salsa and queso dip. I have no plans for any of these purchases, but find it hard, nay impossible, to resist such temptation. Maybe, I think to myself, I may decide to have a party, and make a mental note to stop at the nearby wine shop for a few cases of wine. I arrive at the meat section, my overloaded cart straining against the one uncooperative wheel that drags aggressively along the linoleum floor. I take note of the ailes I've passed along the way for other things I may need. Standing among the shrink-wrapped carnage I gaze with wonder and gluttonous admiration at the carnivorous splendor that lies before me. Like a ravenous jackal, and with little thought to unpaid bills at home, I toss a twelve pound pack of assorted cuts of beef into the cart along with a five pound leg of lamb, six pounds of bacon and a seven pound goose I think I'd like to prepare someday. I've now left my earthly body and am envisioning the great fete I will prepare for my friends. My abode will be well decorated with all the gourmet accoutrements, a fine collection of classical music will set the mood. I shall prepare complete brunch, with champagne (I add this to my liquor store list). I'll need assorted mustards and crackers; fruits and breads; pate and so much more that I add to the list. Fortunately I can procure these, en masse, right here at BJ's along with the two pound sharp aged Wisconsin cheddar and one pound wedge of Stilton I meant to pick up earlier. A two pound container of mixed nuts and also some pistachios will be well received. They find their home next to the eight pack of imported mustards already in the cart. I picture myself raising my glass in a toast to my good friends, for their long life, good health and, most of all, hearty appetites. I urge all my attendees to enjoy the bountiful feast that has been prepared in their honor. Truthfully, I'm not certain when I'll have such a soiree as most of my friends are on the busiest of schedules, and I have a lengthy commute to and from work, which affords me little time to prepare the things I love so much to buy, but I just know I shall, someday. In the end I present my goods upon the black, sticky, rubber conveyor belt and pay the three hundred plus dollars to the cashier. Struggling with my provisions to my car, I stuff the trunk and back seat with my bounty, being careful to leave room for the spirits that I shall purchase on the way home. Upon my arrival to my abode, after my partner spends several minutes shaking his head in disbelief. I, in turn, spend the next thirty minutes rearranging the refrigerator and kitchen cabinets to accommodate the edible newcomers. Reluctantly, I must discard my last journey's supply of uneaten veggie chips, some freezer burned Italian sausage, an assortment of soggy herbs and vegetables; and some various cheese products which have come to resemble a medical testing laboratory. My freezer is packed to capacity as I separate my meat purchase into smaller freezer storage bags, I wonder how it will all fit. Knowing I cannot possibly pack all my purchases in the proper kitchen receptacles, I phone a friend and offer him some of my food bounty, informing him I shall stop by his place for a visit after I'm finished unpacking. He tells me he needs to go to Target and then Home Depot and I agree to drive us there. I am looking forward to it since I need to pick up a few things.

The Rove Head - PART DEAUX

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 01:36:00 +0000

The Rove head opens his mouth to speak. Suddenly he is interrupted by a stranger bursting through the door. A cretinoid man, vulgar, odiferous and staggering about, ambulating with the shambling gait of a guerilla makes his way into the room. He tries to speak, but instead belches loudly, relasing a little vomit from the corner of his mouth. "I yam Gorrg Busshhh," his speech is muttered and unteligible but he continues, "I yam Goooorgg Bushish." "Yo, home, you drunk or sumtin'?" Lil inquires. The hideous man shakes his head wildly as to indicate no, his filthly dreadlocks flap from side to side, dandruff falling about. "Noooo, I yam Gorge Bus!!!" Jenna hides behind her scantily attired Secretary of State. "Brittany, do something." Brittany's eyes are open wide, she is holding her nose to fend off the stench. "Uh, isn't that your job Romeo? Secretary of Denfense, defend us!" Romeo looks toward The Rove Head, "Great Rovie, what the s*%t do we do now?" The Head's face is now grimaced and it is clear the great one is annoyed. Again the ground trembles. "Approach, foul stranger! Come before the great Karl Rove!" The odd man titubates forward. Again he says only "I am Gooorg Bushes". "What blasphemy you speak, there is no way one of your ilk would be someone as great as George Bush!" The Rove Head's jar is starting to shake with anger. "I am Gooorg Bush!" The stranger is adamant about his existence, in his frustration he flails his arms about like a lunatic and knocks the The Rove Head to the floor. The jar shatters, shards of glass get caught in Secretary Spears' hair. "Oh gross, get it out!", Brittany cries. The Rove head begins to turn a shade of white, slightly more pale than before. It mutters, "Put me in a jar of vodka now!" Lil, already sensing the danger, has darted out of the room and to the bar. "Dayum, yo! I don't need this shit!" He fumbles through several half empty bottles and grabs the Grey Goose vodka. He hears a muffled cry from in the cabinet. "Hey buddy, maybe I can help." "Who said that?" Lil is a bit surprised and thinks the buzz from his early morning smoke is beginning to fade. "It's me, you bluderbuss, behind the Chivas, Old Rummy!" "Yo! Don! How'd you get in here?" "I've been here for years," Old Rummy says. "Jenna shoved me in the liquor cabinet during a really bad bender years ago and forgot about me." Without flinching, Lil grabs Old Rummy and the Grey Goose; then heads back to situation room. In the situation room, the odd stranger more adamant than before states his case. "I-I-I-I yam Gurge Bus..." He belches again. Jenna, getting frustrated, slaps the stranger in the face. "Stop, like, pretending to be my family, you gross idiot!" With just enough composure to be respectful the drunken man does not strike back, but pulls a photo out of his ragged breast pocket and hands it to Jenna, his hand shaking as he bows slightly in reverence to the. Brittany snatches the photo from his filthy hands. "Oh mah God! Miss President, look at this..." Their faces look at each other in utter dismay and shock. Lil burst through the door. "Yo! Look what I found." He brandishes the Old Rummy bottle. "Secretary Romeo, this is not time for a daquiri! Besides, I don't have a blender!" Jenna cries. "No, Miss Prez, it's Donald Rumsfeld! In his bottle!" "Oh wow! There you are Old Rummy, I've been wondering what happened to you!" Jenna grabs the Old Rummy bottle and places it on the altar. "Quick," Old Rummy yells, "Get Karl back in the bottle of vodka before he is evaporates." "I am George Bushie!" The stranger yells and flails his arms again. "Shut that biyatch up!" Lil demands as he grabs the Rove Head and forces it into the bottle of vodka. "Put me back on the altar!" The Rove head is clearly perplexed and annoyed at the current events transpiring in the situation room. "How have you been, Old Rummy?" The Rove head, now back in place asks his contemporary. "Well, Karl, they put me in the liquor cabinet, I've been there for years." Old Rummy whines. "I know, Don, this is a difficult group to manage," The Rove head says then turns his attention to Brittany and Jenna as they look at the photo. "Bring it to me and the stranger!" Jenna reluctantly shows the photo to the Rove Head and Old Rummy as Lil drags the stranger to the altar. "Its just as I feared," said the Rove Head, "it's George with Condi Rice. I heard him tell me once that they had relations." Old Rummy hold back his urge to vomit. "Are you sure, maybe this is a fake." "No, old friend, I afraid it's true. Just look at this vulgar picture. They are in bed together, what else could that mean?" "Like, maybe they were having a slumber party," Jenna proffers. "Silence, Jenna!" The Rove Head booms. "Take a stranger to the Cheney (formerly Lincoln) bedroom. Get him cleaned up and sober then bring him back to me. Now all of you go, and give Old Rummy and I a chance to catch up." "Yes, great Rove Head!" Lil offers as he grabs the now stunned Brittany and Jenna by the arms. "Let's go ladies, and you too drunken ho!"

Good Reading

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Tue, 31 May 2005 22:37:00 +0000

I want to share a brief list of some great books I've read recently. My taste in the printed word usually leans toward that which is non-fiction, though there are some wonderful novelists out there. With much ado, here is the list of some great books. If you have read them, please give me your thoughts, if not it may be a good time to pick one up and read it.

"A People's History of the United States" by Howard Zinn. (This is a truly remarkable book, giving an account of history through the eyes of ordinary people. It will make you realize the gross reality of our current social, political and economic state as it has developed since the days of our founding fathers).
"The Best Democracy Money Can Buy (Expanded Election Edition): The Truth About Corporate Cons, Globalization, and High-Finance Fraudsters" by Greg Palast.
"The Death of Common Sense: How Law is Suffocating America", by Philip K. Howard. (While I don't agree 100% with Mr. Howard, I truly feel that his words sing true and emphasize the frustrations we all feel when dealing with bureaucracy).
Anything by Michael Moore.
"My Life as Author and Editor", by H.L. Mencken.
Actually anything by Mr. Mencken makes an interesting reading endeavor.
"Positive Words, Powerful Results: Simply Ways to Honor, Affirm and Celebrate Life", by Dr. Hal Urban. (Dr. Urban spoke at my place of work and it was a truly enjoyable and eye opening experience. In this book you begin to understand how vital your every attempt at communication is to the recipient of your words. It will really make you think).
"No Place to Hide" by Robert O'Harrow, Jr. (I just started reading this and it's a chilling portrait of where we are heading in terms of privacy and individuality.)
"Censored 2005", Several contributors (A good testimony to the state of affairs in our major media.)
"Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism" by Robert Greenwald and Alexandra Kitty truly amazing and reads well after number 9).

This list will be updated from time to time, as the need arises. Please check back! Also, please check these books out and let me know your thoughts on them.

What is Going On?

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Fri, 25 Feb 2005 22:07:00 +0000

Sorry for the poor timing of this one! Prolouge: I began writing the following in February 2005. As much as changed, so much remains the same. Here we are well within the Holiday Season and much of the nonsensical rhetoric continues. The nation is still divided; the President continues to abuse his authority with impunity; and Americans are still preoccupied with whatever mainstream media regurgirates for consumption. The alleged conservatives (actually neo-cons) are still sqauking like parrotts within their party's narrow-minded views. OK, I had to take a small break, well long break, from "The Rove Head". There have been many things picking at my brain lately. First, I have just finished reading "Censored: 2005". This book is a testimony to the deplorable state of affairs in the mass media. With the current rate of media consolidation we will be getting all of our news from just a small handful of outlets, each tied to the wishes of their corporate masters. We are witnessing the debasement of what should be a free thinking society. This is not alarmist behavior, the signs are all around. A few weeks ago I was watching television with my partner. We were watching a serious account of the recent tsunami tragedy in SE Asia. An alert ticker begins along the bottom of the screen. It says: "Breaking News...." and then something about Brad Pitt and whoever it is he was married to are getting a divorce. We both thought for sure that the breaking news was going to be something along the lines of another natural disaster or W was finally going to bomb Iran, as he is wont to do. It is appalling that in the face of disaster we are so consumed with the petty lives of meaningless celebrities. Sure, they provide entertainment, and some of them are pleasant on the eyes but why in the hell do people obsess over them? Most people I know that spend hours waxing moronic over the life of a famous person cannot manage their own affairs. Yet here they are, spewing out the latest drivel from Oprah or Jerry Springer and their own life is beyond reproach. I'm no saint here. I know I have many improvements to make in my life. I work hard everyday to make those adjustments. It is beyond my scope of reason to understand how anyone has the time to give a damn about the affairs of actors or royalty or sports personalities. Yet the major media outlets continue to feed us this fetid stew of gossip and topical nonsense disguised as "breaking news". We sit in front of our flickering boxes, watching as yet another sports figure or celebrity is charged with groping, or spits in public or some other unimportant tidbit of their life is exposed. We drool, wide-eyed and zombie like, as we grab another handful of Doritos dipped in lard. It's time to wake up! We have to hold the media accountable for their tyranny. We have been misled by a machine that cares more about the bottom line, then about journalism. Look at how the major media fell in line with the call to war over the "weapons of mass destruction" that Saddam was to be harboring. We sat watching all the stations with their overlayed images of flags in the lower or upper corner of the screen. The pundits crying the call to arms, crushing anyone that did not agree as unpatriotic. Look at the dumbasses that began a boycott of all things French. So much so, that in our stupidity, our congressional representatives changed the term "French Fries" to "Freedom Fries". In actuality, french fries are a Belgian invention, although they are most know by that moniker in the USA. But enough of that.

The Rove Head

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Thu, 18 Nov 2004 05:35:00 +0000

Date: February 14, 2016 Time: 0830 EST President Jenna Bush hurries into the oval office. There is pandemonium as she never wakes before noon. "Mrs. President, I'm glad you are here!" She is greeted by Secretary of State, Brittany Spears who looks smart in her latest Cartier mini-skirt and bright pink halter top. Bright silver earrings dangle from her ears and bang gently against a freshly botox treated face. "What's going on? I was having a horrible nightmare," the President continues, "the entire Continent of Africanastan was covered with this thick black stuff, people were dying of some horrible disease, it was just like.. awful!" She slumps in her chair, rolls her eyes and pouts. "Uh, Mrs. President," chimes in Secretary of Defense L'il Romeo, "yo! That was yesterday's headline in the FOX-Murka Sun Times Post Dispatch. I showed it to you before you went to bed, after that last martini." "Oh, DUH!" She smacks herself in the head with her palm and giggles, "Now I remember! So, like, why did you wake me so early? You know I can't function until sometime around noon, after my bloody mary and my beer, and my Jerry Springer, Jr." "Mrs. President, this is serious!" Mrs. Spears speaks up, "We have a problem in Massachusetts. There is a small uprising of liberal insurgents! With all of our troops in Africanastan dying from the sulfur dioxide clouds; combat fighting; and the AIDS II epidemic we don't have enough to fight them! Plus we have word that the oil supplies are running out, so we are about to run out of fuel for military vehicles." "Yo! This mean nuttin' but a big blue-azz state to me, Mizz Prez," said L'il. The giant gold ExxonMobilShellBPChevronTexaco emblem around his neck shifts to the left causing him to fall off his chair. "Oh my god! I look like totally horrible in blue. Wasn't that like the color of Monica Lewinski's dress?" The President asked, who is again pouting. "Uh, yes," said Mrs. Spears, "which reminds me, should we send a card and flowers to congratulate the Clinton-Lewinsky's on the birth of their new grandchildren?" "Like not now! We have to do something about this! I've got it! Let's ask Karl, he's was daddy's right hand." The President yells, "To the situation room!" The three intrepid leaders scurry through the halls, then embark on a long, downward elevator ride. They then wander through a labyrinth of dark, musty halls lit only by dim fluorescent bulbs overhead. They come to a door. A computer voice greets them. "Please provide access code." Jenna steps forward, "Like, Budweiser, duh?" The door opens and replies, "like, three people entering." There, atop an altar like perch, surrounded by burning crude oil candles, is a the head of Karl Rove, preserved and lifelike, contained in a simple Mason jar. The two underlings step back and immediately fall to the ground, bowing before The Rove Head. Jenna approaches. "Oh, great and wise Rove Head, what do we do? Ohmigosh! Like the democrats are starting to rise up! We've already illegalized gay marriage; outlawed abortion; used up most all the oil; taken over most of Africanastan. What else can we do? What can we do?! I'm, like, so scared!" She started to cry and mutters, "If only daddy were here, he'd take care of me." She starts to stand up to walk away. The ground begins to tremble, Jenna falls to the ground, the horrible eyes of the contained beast open and The Rove Head begins to speak in a voice as loud as thunder! "Jenna, you were wise to come to me! I have a plan, I know it will work, as I have helped the Bush family conquer America and occupy the once Middle East to beccome Africanastan. As with your granddaddy to George to uncle Jeb and now you, I shall impart my wisdom." TO BE CONTINUED

What am I doing here?

btnapoli@adminnovation.com (Bryan T. Napoli) — Sat, 16 Oct 2004 15:08:00 +0000

This is an attempt to share some views and opinions, and some general musings, on the state of affairs in general. By state of affairs in general, I refer to current events, past events and even my own viewpoints on the aforementioned. I invite all comments and critique (including editorial comments (-: I hope you find your visit here more a pleasure than a chore and enjoy your time. Please note: Often postings will be related to local affairs (Baltimore, MD and Washtingon, DC)