At the end of a year, we are compelled to place parentheses around the previous 365 days and draw conclusions about our experiences therein. The year for me began as sluggish as it is not ending. I set out with a few goals in 2006, not "New Year's Resolutions" but actual goals committed to paper. Sadly, that paper was lost in February; I believe my cat was involved.
A goal notwithstanding this epistolary endeavor is not an attempt to bring down to a specific time or date any events of the year. I shall be presenting the year's account in a manner that is driven by topic, rather than chronology. I also must admit that I'm keeping this rather personal, and any comments are more than welcomed, they are appreciated.
The main goal of the year was to purchase a home. December 27, 2006, is the date that goal reaches its fruition. The homeownership goal is really just a subsidiary of a larger overall goal of life improvement. Such improvements consist of continuing education; learning one or two languages (Italian is now, German is next); repairing my credit situation; gaining more respect of myself and my previous accomplishments; meeting new and interesting people; improving my retirement planning; and so on. This is a list not unlike many people I'm sure you know. It may even be similar to your own.
The past two months have been somewhat trying for me. I began to benchmark my own life against others and felt like a bit of a failure. Not a total failure, just in the sense of some wasted opportunities in life. Many of the people I've met recently are younger and very accomplished. Opportunities such as finishing college; traveling; and self-motivated health awareness; are some of the areas where I felt deficient. I spent at least a week in a state of melancholic torpor until something in me "snapped". I realized what I had actually accomplished, and what its value was in my life.
My greatest "accomplishment" is the wonderful gift of friendship I have surrounding me. I have several amazingly loyal, dedicated, trustworthy, and crazy friends. These friendships, as all relationships, take hard work and dedication. I must be doing something right to have such quality people to call my friends. Also, I have found that when meeting people that are well accomplished, they generally find me interesting. This always amused me, as I can't imagine my life being interesting to people who have seen the world, or have had moments of fame or fortune, moments I have yet to know. However, therein is my greatest talent, that of being interesting. Well, I guess being interesting and making people laugh. Apparently, I'm quite the comedian, as I’m often told. I'm not yet certain what this means, but I'm sure I'll know soon enough.
I digress, now back to my state of torpor. When I woke up from this nightmarish time, I began charging through the list of unaccomplished goals from the beginning of 2006. Get ready for this, as it's all true. In less than a month I found, financed, and shall close on my home purchase; I began learning Italian (I cannot pepper this text with Italian phrases as I'm too new at it); and have really learned a great deal about myself through self-examination and also through many of the new people I've met.
The biggest lesson for the year can be summated in the old adage "Actions speak louder than words". This phrase is simple, yet one of the greatest truths within itself. The words of the axiom are useless without life's actions to drive the message home. One of the most obvious areas of life where this is true involves our interactions with others. I've met some people this year who haven't been true to their words. In these cases, actions were screaming at me, not simply speaking louder that their verbal counterparts. Never discount others and never allow those who do to be part of your life. (This is one lesson I cannot impress enough!)
I realize elsewhere in the world much has transpired. I cannot distance myself from the facts, but I needn't let them worry me now. I spent a good portion of this year lamenting the horrors and atrocities heard and read daily in the news. I also experienced many trying moments for members of my extended family, lamenting others misery, while lamenting my current place in life. January through late November was not my favorite part of 2006; in fact, was quite ghastly. I have placed interior parentheses around these months and now label them gone but not forgotten.
The month of December has truly been a winner. I've still let some people disappoint me, but I no longer feel disappointed in myself. I have complete control over how I'll allow others to impact my attitude. Life is entirely a 50-50 game of chance with every decision, no matter how minute a gamble for the future. I shall henceforth make every decision where possible and appropriate without impulse, with forethought, and with emphasis on quality and integrity. This will be especially important when dealing with others who wish to enter my life.
Looking forward to 2007 I see hope. I feel the year will be filled with the fruits of my convictions. I suppose it took me a bit longer to leap out of my own spiritual and moral adolescence such that I have a clear direction of how my future shall look. I see myself as the engineer of a very heavy train, the locomotive is fully functional, though a little rusty; the trains consist of several cars, carrying heavy baggage. The cartage is also old and musty. As I steam forward there are several stops. At each stop I leave behind the heavier and older cars, leaving behind the old baggage, and retrieve empty cars for new luggage. There is one car, however, I never removed it from this train. That car is the passenger car, for it carries the most necessary cargo: my friends, my family, and my own belief that life is only getting better from here.
